What happened to real men and intentional dating? Let’s make a change

It’s a different world out there dating in the year 2018. Trust me, I know from experience…

I recently had a conversation with my Grandmother (who thinks I should already have a wife) about just how different dating is today. I made the case that both women and men are growing into functioning adults later and later in life. She quickly agreed as she reminded me that at 15 years old she was growing and managing a garden to feed her family, keeping house (before washers and driers where a thing I may add) milking cows and working a full time job and all the other things a mother with a family has to do. I can say with confidence that most the women who I have come across can’t do 1/5th of the things that the women of that generation could do.

But then I reminded myself that maybe the men of today (myself included at times) are more unprepared for marriage and fatherhood than any other generation of men before.

Perhaps the reason for my singleness comes from my lack of being the man that I am suppose to be?

Perhaps men it’s not the Woman’s fault for a culture of hookups and one night stands over real intentional dating in pursuit of ones life partner. Maybe, just maybe, it is no ones fault but our own.

Real intentional dating today is almost a thing of the past. To really express your interest in someone is a sure fire way to get rejected. If you want that girls (notice I said girls) attention, your best bet is to ignore her…it drives the girls crazy.

Which believe it or not, circa social media (anytime pre 2000ish) this is how the dating process actually worked.

Boy sees girl
Boy thinks girl is pretty.
Boy ask girl out.
Girl agrees (meaning she has mutual interest)

and BAM! you got a date…

Now I’m afraid it has become much more complicated than meeting the pretty girl at church or at the coffee shop. No, now we find her on social media. Like a couple of pictures, maybe get her Snapchat (which she posts on her Instagram cause shes single duh) and then you slide in the DM’s. (gah just saying that term makes me want to vomit anymore.)

Maybe it’s both parties who have lowered our standards of love and exchanged the real thing for a counterfeit version. Men, today if you want to be with a beautiful woman who is under the age of 25, good freaking luck. You will most likely be competing with a hefty Instagram following and Lord only knows of how many snapchat trolls who wouldn’t care if she decided to marry you or not.

I don’t claim to have all the answers to this epidemic that the world has against marriage and intentional dating. I certainly can’t speak to the lack of real women…(I think a woman would be better fit to deal with that topic) But I think as for the men I can say this…

Lets grow up. Lets be real men again. I understand we live in a world of conveniences…we don’t have to have the same skill set that an early settler at Jamestown had to have to be able to live and survive. But my goodness, lets go get some real man skills, work on ourselves a little bit, go read a book, fix something; literally anything will suffice, or (hold your breath) teach yourself some basic old fashion chivalry.

and for the Love of God…quit liking the butt picks on Instagram…Don’t even give those girls the time of day…quit sliding in the DM’s and go back to opening doors and trade in snapchat for a phone call and actually ask her out…plan a date…ya know…actually court her with purpose. You don’t have to marry her after the first date but have some intention and look to see if you two could actually have a life together.

Maybe men it is time that we stand up and make a change…Or maybe I’m just thinking out loud to myself…we CAN do better.

6 thoughts on “What happened to real men and intentional dating? Let’s make a change

  1. Could not agree with you more about this post. Real men need to learn how to be friends with women first a great relationship in my opinion always comes before and solidifies a true long term relationship and marriage. Real men also should not look to the outward but rather to the inward woman and her family that raised her. If the mother is a true godly woman the daughter will generally turn out to be much like her mother and the linage that raised her. If young men would embrace the simple life and the virtues that make relationships great rather then what they see with their eyes they will truly find the gems that are right before their very eyes. You are an old soul young padewon and are truly blessed with insight. Also don’t look to far off what you see may be hiding right near you. Also if a real man would simply take his place and lead then a true woman will aid him in his journey i.e (Ruth Graham)

  2. This was a pretty incredible read that I could not agree more with! Thanks for sharing and speaking truth to the men of this generation!

  3. Tyler, you never cease to amaze me! I think you are onto something! I love the fact that you are waiting patiently for that right soulmate! Men need to listen to you and ask her out! Awesome!😁

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